Produced by Hero
Project Manager: Seishi Nishino
Production: Hirohiko Suekichi
TACHINOMI BAR
Hey!
Original Story: Miwamiwa/Daisuke Taichi Production: Dohkuman Pro
Screenplay: Tetsuo lnoue Hey man, where you going?
Wait, eh!
Em
Producers: Tetsuya Yuki, Fujio Matsushima & Tamio Kanda Eiji, hey Eiji, wait! You alright, Eiji?
Look at you. You're such a...
Director: Takashi Nliike - Hey, you alright? - Sorry mate.
Please leave me alone.
Come on.
- Why don't you play with us for a bit? - Please leave me alone.
- Get your hands off me. - 'Please leave me. '
You make me laugh!
Get your hands off me!
Huh? Hey, hey, hey! You look cute when you get angry.
Hey, come with us!
Stop it!
Oi, you bunch of losers! Are you still spending your time jerking off?
Here comes Makoto and Eiji of Tsutenkaku High.
Right, this is the kind of chance you only get once in a hundred years.
Let's pay them back that little debt we owe them.
Once in a hundred years?
You think you're a Samurai, right?
You sure you're not the cry baby that Makoto had to look after?
Still got a dick?
Do you want me to shave you again?
Shut your fucking mouth.
I'm going to cut your big head right off your shoulders.
Run quick!
I said run quick!
New!
This is for you!
Hey, hey, get out of my way!
Mr. Daimon...
Mr. Daimon?
Please marry me, will you?
Mr. Daimon!
Marry me!
My sweet heart!
MY Measure!
What was that?
Monster.
OSAKA TOUGH GUYS
Kentaro Nakakura Ycshiyuki Ohmcri
Gajiro Sato
Sei Hiraizumi Tadashi Sate
Guest Appearance by Shingc Yamashim
Rikiya Yasuoka
The students listed... have been expelled from school...due to their behavior...
...including fighting, gambling, making threats...
- And the next one means pussy, right? - Yeah, that's pussy.
Drinking, smoking and driving without a license.
What's their problem?
Are they trying to get rid of us? Stupid fucking teachers! You'll be sorry!
They're kidding us, right?
They'd better get their fucking asses in gear!
It's the last fart of the fox!
You dummy! You mean the last fart of the badger.
Badger? No, no, it's fox.
It's definitely badger. I'll put money on it.
I would like to make it very clear here,
that our priority must always be to uphold the good name of Tsutenaku High School.
And, ladies and gentlemen,
please ensure that the student body is equally committed to this policy.
Anyway, we've thrown Yamada and Fukenaga out,
so I'm sure our school will be a bit quieter from now on.
From this night onwards I can at last sleep soundly.
I'm so happy...
What are you doing? We're having a teachers' meeting. Leave the room!
Shut your fucking mouth. We're here to say goodbye.
Let's have a look at your faces for the last time!
We're gonna have to lean on you a bit.
Someone...police!...Telephone! Please call the police!
Freeze!
Interesting suggestion.
If you really want to, call the police.
But I'm gonna have to spread the word about what goes on here.
There's no secret amongst friends.
You, as head teacher, are accepting bribes for backdoor admissions.
You know...?
Now for the deputy head teacher.
You're having an affair with the mother of one of your students!
Not forgetting the course leader! You're sleeping with one of the students!
Do you want everyone to know about it?
Rie...
If people outside know about this, the reputation of the school will be shit.
And, as from next year, no one will want to enroll anymore, huh?
Bad news!
Don't call the police, OK?
That's a good head teacher. You're not completely stupid.
So maybe you'd be prepared to forget that notice about expelling us from school?
- What? That's... - That's what I could say,
but since we fucking hate this fucking stupid school anyway, we're gonna split.
Thanks!
Don't get too relaxed.
As we're prepared to leave, why not give us a farewell gift?
A farewell gift...?
I'm talking about a little memento for two intelligent young men with a bright future.
Make sure you give way to your generous nature.
Are you totally serious?
You think that's enough?
Hey! Open the fucking safe! I know you've got shitloads in there!
This is the national bank of black economy, right?
We're prepared to settle for one million yen!
One million...one million yen?
What?
Are you giving it to us or what?
No problem. I'll give you one million yen.
Is there anything else you need from me?
You know about the last fart? Does that refer to a fox or a badger?
A weasel, of course.
Weasel?
The proverb goes, 'The weasel's last fart is the smelliest. '
So it was weasel after all.
You learn something new...
OK! Let's get to the safe.
Party time? Let's party!
How about The Pink Salon! The Pink Salon!
You butthead! We've got one million yen. Don't come up with crap suggestions.
How about a hostess club then? A hostess club!
Butthead! That's crap too. Can't you come up with anything better?
Then where do you wanna go?
Let's think...
You can't come up with anything either!
- See! - What?
What the"!
Good evening.
Wow, a Cadillac!
Yeah, a Caddy, a Caddy!
It's freezing.
Boss and brother, please.
Boss, please mind your head.
- Good evening. - We've been waiting for you.
Nice tits, huh?
- Gorgeous! - Gorgeous!
Hey, get out of my way!
You fucker! Who do you think you're talking to?
This is the big boss of Kinsu sect.
Hey, hey, Sabu, Sabu, Sabu. Stop showing off on the stairs.
He's just an ordinary citizen. Leave him alone.
- I'm sorry. - Go!
It's on me tonight.
- Hey, Makoto? - What?
Let's go to the club, shall we?
- What? It looks fucking expensive, man. - We've got loads of money, come on!
Hey, hey, Eiji!
Alright, let's do it.
- Cheers! - Cheers!
Hey, hey, hey, Sab, Sab, Sab. Where's the fucking pickled plum, huh?
Oh, yes. Brother, you'd like cucumbers as well, wouldn't you?
Hey, a pickled plum and cucumbers. Same as usual, OK? Hurry up!
Certainly.
Tonight, the Boss is buying the drinks. It's party time.
- I always pay anyway! - You're one great guy!
Please have a seat. Good evening gentlemen.
- Here we go! - Come on!
What do you think you're doing? You boys!
We've got loads of money here. Why don't you be nice to us, huh?
Stop it, will you?
It's not a pink salon here. Please behave like gentlemen.
If you don't know how to behave, nobody's going to look after you.
- What the fuck is that? - What the fuck is that?
That's for you, darling.
- And for you, too. - You're lucky.
Darling, show us your pussy. I'll give you 20,000 yen.
- What?! - You heard!
Boss, I'll show you my dick!
Hey, here's your present. Take it!
Thank you!
Hey, hey, Makoto! Why don't you give her something, too?
- OK! - That's my money! Mine!
- It's a present for you. Take it! Take it! - You know how things work!
OK! Bring lots of expensive drinks in!
Let's get wasted!
- See, champagne really is the best! - Is it nice?
Wow, you're right!
You see, pickled plums are just for licking...
Hey, what're they drinking?
Is it much more expensive than ours?
Oh, that's Shochu.
Shochu?!
A lot of yakuza have liver problems or get diabetes because they drink too much.
A lot of the top bosses have died recently.
So most of them drink Shochu nowadays, right?
Never mind, guys, you're young so drink up and don't worry about your liver!
- Cheers! - Cheers!
Here we go!
Yeah!
One million yen
What's that?
What?
The numbers of bottles and service charge here...
One million yen?!
Aren't you overcharging us?
What the fuck are you on about?
We never said...we wouldn't pay.
Em
Kick! Good boy, good boy!
Kick!
Hung over. You?
Yeah, me too.
Don't you have anything to drink?
No.
Water will do.
Oh no, I haven't paid the water bill so they stopped it.
What?
What the fuck!
There's a pancake for you.
That's your puke, man.
I'm letting you stay here. Stop complaining.
Alright then, I'll go and get juice.
Cheers.
What's going on? I haven't got any money.
What?
We used that one million yen we got from the head at the club last night.
Have you got any?
Wait.
Not much.
I wanna go home.
I even miss that horrible food my mom cooks.
Why don't you go home then?
I'm not asking you to stay here with me.
Don't get pissed. Hey, Eiji, don't be angry, huh?
Hey, Eiji, you've got a hard-on.
That's my special talent.
I'm well today like always and my dick's stiff!
- Let's put it to music! - Let's put it to music!
We've got some change left anyway. Let's go and get some food.
Yeah, let's go.
Stiff dick pon pon, Stiff dick pan.
Stiff dick pon pon.
- No, no, no! - What?
That's the expensive one!
- What the fuck?! - It's only cup noodles, take this one instead.
This one tastes nicer!
This one's cheaper!
- It's 20 yen difference! What's the problem?! - We're on an economy drive!
Thank you for helping me the other day.
You don't need to thank us. It was nothing.
Yeah, don't worry.
Thanks.
See you then.
She smiled. I think she's got the hots for me.
She smiled at me.
- No, at me man. - No, no, at me.
- At me. - At me!
That's 1,755 yen please.
I'm sorry, I don't seem to have enough money. I'll have to put something back.
What? I've already rung it in. Just take them back quickly!
I'm sorry.
How much are you short?
Hey, Makoto!
How much are you short, then?
Hey, I'm asking how much!
Ah...well...
That should be enough!
Excuse me? You can't do that!
That's fine.
Excuse...
We'll be back again.
Makoto! Makoto!
- Let's go and steal money off some kids. - Butthead!
We're going to a bookstore.
Makoto? Are you gonna work at a bookstore?
Butthead! We're gonna steal a recruitment magazine.
Hello.
Ms. Hayama?
You haven't paid me the rest of this month's rent yet.
I'm very sorry. I'll pay you as soon as I get paid.
I trust you.
But you know,
we need money to live as well, so it's hard sometimes if you don't pay on time...
I'm very sorry.
Ah, yes, your mother called earlier.
She said she wasn't well again and will have to stay in the hospital for a while.
OK, thanks.
I know it's none of my business,
but isn't it time you packed up and went back to your hometown?
I know you want to be an actress, but it's just a dream.
Isn't it better if you go back home and look after your mother?
The rent for this month. Please don't forget!
Experienced...skills...?
Sniffing glue and jerking off aren't skills, are they?
It's a waste of time.
What?
No one's going to hire us. We didn't even graduate from high school.
Life's not easy, is it?
That's it! Eiji! That's it!
Men from 17 to 25 years old wanted. No experience required.
Possible quick promotion. Salary over 500,000 yen a month.
Salary over 500,000 yen a month!
- 500,000 yen a month?! - Yeah!
- Is that really true? - Yeah, it's totally true, man!
- That's fucking great! - That's fucking great!
- Hey, shouldn't we be wearing suits? - Yeah, but these are the only clothes I have.
Warning! Muggers and sex offenders have been operating in this area - Naniwa CPA
Muggers!
Don't worry. We're gonna be OK.
- Are you sure? - Yes, I'm sure.
- Do we really look like salarymen? - Yeah, we do. Don't worry.
Are you sure this is the right station?
Yes, I'm sure.
It looks kind of run down for a company that pays over 500,000 yen a month.
Butthead! Wise people say you never judge by appearances.
This is obviously a company that values real worth rather than appearance.
I think that's the pick-up car they meant.
Shall we ask?
Excuse me?
Are you here from Takaranoyama Trading Ltd to pick us up?
Yes, that's right, sir.
We're here for the interview.
Certainly. Please get in the car. I'll take you to the interview hall.
Thank you very much.
Haven't we seen that old fart somewhere?
We've seen him somewhere...
...I can't remember.
What?
Please...please...calm...ca...ca... calm...please...calm down.
I'm Tokichi Kinoshita, from Yamanosato University...animal husbandry course.
- Nice to meet you! - What the fuck is he?!
If I get the position, I'm prepared to overcome any difficulty.
Who is he?!
He must've thought we were the interviewers.
What"?
A little...
Gentlemen, we're going now so please get in the car.
Here we go, gentlemen.
We're here. Please.
To the interview hall.
Here we are, gentlemen. Please follow me to the interview hall.
Please...here.
Here. Please follow me.
- Please watch your step there. - Yes.
INTERVIEW HALL
That old fart as well... I've seen him somewhere.
Welcome to the Kinsu sect.
K...Kinsu sect?
- Yakuza! This is a yakuza sect, yakuza! - What?
- They're yakuza! - We've been conned!
Shut the fuck up!
From today, you and us are all going to work hard and live together like family.
You...you must be joking, man. We're not here to become yakuza.
You jerks, being taken in so easily. You've got nowhere to run to anymore.
Why don't you chill out and do what we say?
Ahh! That guy!
Why don't you clean your fucking ears and listen to me?
We know what kind of lowlife you are from the CV you sent us.
We hired a private detective to make sure that the information was accurate.
All of you are pieces of shit.
Even your parents have given up on you.
Nobody will notice you've gone.
There's no way out for you.
We know exactly where you live and where your parents live.
This is a contract to give your lives to us. Sign it with your blood right now...
...right here, will you?
You're totally upfront, aren't you? Well done!
I'm Tokichi Kinoshita...from Yamanosato University, animal husbandry course.
Shut the fuck up and give me your hand.
Yes.
- B...blood... - Shut the fuck up!
You're hired. Congratulations!
Thank you.
I've done it, I've done it, I've done it!
I've done it!
Congratulations.
KINSU CORPORATION
Let me introduce you to the new faces.
I'm Makoto Fukunaga.
I'm Eiji Yamada.
I'm Tokichi Kinoshita...
I've heard that hundreds of times!
This gentleman is the Kinsu sect's big boss.
And this gentleman here is Brother Amachi, the second boss.
Greetings!
Hello.
Thank you very much for having us!
Thank you very much for having us.
OK, good.
Work hard and get to be good yakuza as soon as possible.
Yes.
Not yes, say yes sir!
Yes, sir!
Anyway, they look like young men with potential.
Well, all except this one.
Hey, Sab, take this money, get them something nice to eat.
Yes.
- Not yes, say yes, sir! - Yes, sir!
When will you get it?
Listen! The yakuza code is...
one - training, two - training, three and four - training, and five...
...dick! Brush up your manhood!
- Yes, sir! - Yes, sir!
In the Kinsu sect, you're strictly forbidden to touch thinners, pills and powder.
Make sure you remember that.
- Yes, sir! - Yes, sir!
To become yakuza, you have to go through very hard training.
But when you master it all, you get first class pussy and lots of dinero.
One more thing.
Like Che Guevara first said, 'Be loved by the people. '
Become friends with the neighborhood association, and be loved!
- Yes, sir! - Yes, sir!
Our big boss also works as a vice-chairman of the neighborhood association.
Make sure you don't disgrace the Kinsu sect's name.
- Yes, sir! - Yes, sir!
That's all!
- Dismissed! - Yes, sir!
Come in.
You'll be sleeping in this room from today.
But Brother, there are only two beds in here.
That's correct.
You're gonna take turns to keep watch all night.
When two of you are asleep, the one works as a security guard.
An all night security guard?
That's what junior yakuza have to do.
Follow me to the next room.
Make sure you clean the toilet well.
If you leave any stain,
I'll make you use your tongue to lick it clean, alright?
KINSU SECT
Usually you just stay in this room and take telephone calls.
- Yes, sir! - Yes, sir!
Kinoshita! You clean the toilet.
What...
- Don't you wanna do it then? - I will. I get it.
The rest of you, follow me.
- Yes, sir! - You pissed yourself, huh?
OK.
You two clean this car.
Car cleaning...?!
Don't you jerk-offs understand?
This is an important part of training to be a yakuza.
But make sure not to scratch it, alright?
This is what the Boss treasures most next to his own life.
There was a guy who scratched it before and he was beaten so badly he almost died.
Understood?
Hey, how did we end up like this?
It's too late to moan about it.
Yeah, you're right.
They've got a signed contract. Even if we're desperate to quit, we can't.
We just have to put up with things for a while.
And after that we get lots of money and as many women as we want.
I admire your optimism.
What are you doing?
What, you?!
Hey, come on...
Oi, you... what do you think you're doing...?
Give it to me!
This is the best medicine for a hangover.
You're the new faces, is that right?
- Y...yes, sir. - Y...yes, sir.
I'm the Head Captain of the Kinsu sect, Kaizo Daimon.
I'm famous for making crying babies...
...shut up.
I'm Makoto Fukunaga.
I'm Eiji Yamada.
The Boss has such good taste. It's a nice car.
I'm gonna borrow this car, alright?
No, please don't.
Why?
But...
Don't worry.
I'm gonna drive around and come back.
Oh shit!
- We're gonna be killed. - What shall we do?
Has he just crashed...?
- Oh shit! - Captain...!
- What's wrong? - What've you done?!
The bo...the boss's car has been damaged!
What the fuck have you done to it?!
- What?! - What?!
Leave it to me.
What?!
I have a plan.
- What?! - What?!
Why the fuck do we have to be here with him?
I don't fucking know!
I've got a bad feeling.
You're freaking me out.
What the fuck are you whispering about?
- Yes. - Yes.
Captain! Do you think it's gonna work?
Don't worry. This plan I came up with, it can't fail.
This is a luxury residential quarter.
There must be lots of rich bitches driving expensive cars like BMW's and Mercedes.
We target one of those luxury cars and let it wreck this car, like BANG!
Oi, you old cow!
What have you done to my car?!
What have you done to my dick? Just look at it!
Then we get piles of money.
Here comes the target. Ready?
Let's go!
Ready?
Oi, you old cow. What have you done to my car?
What have you done to my dick...? What? What?!
Can you come with us to the police station?
I'm just passer-by A.
Right?
I'm B...
I'm C...
A month later...
Did you get everything, yeah?
Do you mean this?
Did you buy meat, yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah...ah, you...
Thank you for helping me the other day.
Let me return the money you lent me.
Don't worry. It was just spare change.
Please accept this from me.
OK, if you insist.
Do you wanna take it home?
There're some vegetables and some meat in here as well.
We bought a lot so don't be shy.
- Thank you. - See you.
- Thank you. - Yeah, don't worry.
Goodbye.
What's going on?
What do you mean?
- Huh? - What man?! Nothing special, man!
Every time I see her face, I feel like I need to take care of her.
That's love.
- What the fuck are you on about? - It's love.
No, it's not! Butthead!
You don't fool me.
Don't be stupid. We're yakuza trainees, right?!
And she wouldn't have spoken to us like that if she knew we were yakuza.
- That's right. - Yeah.
What?
Makoto? Makoto?
Do you want to talk to me about something?
Yes sir! Well...l wanted to ask...
When are we getting our wages?
- Wages? - Yes.
You dummies!
It's not a company, it's a yakuza sect. There's no such thing as wages!
Does that mean we're working for free?
We supply you with a place to stay and food to eat.
What more do you need?
Nowadays youngsters don't know what life's all about.
Hey, listen.
If you want money, you have to earn it like in any business.
Yes, Captain Daimon taught us about doing business deals,
and we ended up hitting a police car.
There are many different kinds of business!
- Sabu, Sabu! - Yes?
Don't just stand there like an idiot, why don't you teach these fools the yakuza rules?
I'll do it myself.
Listen carefully.
This suit.
It's tailor-made in Britain. It cost 800,000 yen.
This Cartier watch is pure gold and was 2,500,000 yen.
These shoes, made in Italy, cost 180,000 yen.
All of them were gifts from girls.
Business...you meant getting gifts from women?
That's not the only sort of business.
We help guard hostess bars and also get involved in debt collection.
We have many businesses here.
Let them practice, it's easier to learn that way. Take them on some business now.
New?
Don't you want to or what?
Of course I do.
Excuse me.
Is Kinoshita coming too?
Just the two of you is fine.
Kinoshita isn't ready for it yet.
I'm Tokichi Kinoshita, from Yamanosato University...animal husbandry course.
I know that, you half-wit!
I'm glad...
They're enforcing the new yakuza prevention law, so it's difficult for us to work nowadays.
So what are we going to do now?
Debt collection.
That sounds easy.
You idiot, these are the people who had the guts to borrow money from yakuza
and not return it.
They're not easy people to deal with.
Especially the ones we're going to see today, they're the worst.
A couple who are addicted to gambling.
They cry like babies and beg for money when they need it,
but once they've got the money, they don't give a shit anymore.
What scumbags we ended up giving money to!
That's it.
What kind of house is that?
I can't see them giving the money back.
We're from the Kinsu sect. Excuse us!
Hi.
What?
How may I help you?
Hey, Uni, Ohtoro and Rum'?
You seem to be living it here.
So what if we are? We're free to eat what we want.
Life isn't that simple.
If you have the money to eat sushi, why don't you pay back the money you owe us?
OK, OK.
Someone gave this food to us.
We haven't got any money at all here.
You assholes!
I'm not leaving until you at least pay us the interest today.
But your interest rate is too high and we can't afford it anymore.
I'm sure you're making a very good living out of the enormous interest we pay you!
Why bring that up now? You assholes!
Didn't you know about the interest rate when you took out the loan?
We didn't know anything about the law at that time.
We didn't know that charging an extremely high rate of interest was illegal.
What the fuck?
The Kinsu sect still seems to be doing this sort of shark loaning.
If you like, we can speak to the police, you know?
I heard your Boss has already served four years in jail.
I'm sure if he goes back there again, he'll end up doing at least eight!
Yeah, he's not young anymore, is he?
I'd imagine it would be very hard to spend eight years inside at his age.
If that happens, it's your responsibility. You know that?
Are you prepared to take responsibility for it then?
He's right!
OK, OK, you understand? Then please leave us now.
Do I have to look at your pitiful faces?
Even this nice sushi tastes horrible if I have to look at you all.
Yeah!
- We'll be back. - Here you go.
Here you go.
- Here you go. -Uh, I prefer Uni.
Keiko and I are keeping watch together.
Keiko...Keiko, please suck more.
Swing it...it's coming...coming.
Keiko...it's nice...Keiko...
What the fuck are you doing? Dirty bastard!
Put it back now.
What do you...
You're overdoing it. Your dick will be rubbed sore.
My turn to be on guard anyway.
Never mind. I'm ready to go to sleep.
- What was that? - Robbers?
Robbers? I don't think anyone would break into a yakuza office.
Then you don't think we're being attacked?
- Attacked? - Attacked by another yakuza sect!
By another yakuza sect?!
Ready?
Open it.
I'm impressed with your hard work.
Ca...Captain...
Give me another drink.
Hey, Makoto.
What's wrong? There's nothing wrong with the drink.
Eiji, I just wonder why he's buying us all these drinks.
Come on, forget it. Just sit back and enjoy it.
- Just drink, drink. - Hey! Hey!
- Yes. - Are you enjoying the drink, huh?
- Yes, sir. - Yes, sir.
- Don't worry, drink as much as you want. - Yes!
It's your money after all.
Captain...l thought it was on you?
Don't be silly. I haven't got any money.
But we don't either.
Don't worry. You can just work here and pay it back, yeah?
I thought it was too good to be true!
The Kinsu sect is hanging around here then?
The quality of customers in this club has certainly gone down.
Wait!
What?
You shitheads are from the Asashi sect!
What do you know about the quality of club customers?
Daimon!
I wouldn't be so fastidious if I were you.
That's the way I was born.
Stop showing off, you tiny-dicked fucker!
You big pussy!
You two, just run away now.
They won't notice you've gone. That way we won't have to pay.
I'm worn out.
Makoto! Makoto!
What's wrong, brother?
Hurry HP-
- Hurry up! - Nobody's here by the way.
What the fuck are you wearing?
Shut the fuck up, you idiot! Look, I'm wearing them too, Makoto.
Are you going to open a perverfs nightclub or something?
Shit for brains! Listen carefully!
The punter's getting bored with high school uniforms and high school girl's panties.
From now on, the luxury celebrity lifestyle is the key to everything, alright?
Yeah, but what has it to do with us wearing these panties?
Listen now.
We wear these luxury panties,
and tell them that Rie Miyazawa or Kumiko Guto wore them.
Or Rie's mom's panties... that's not bad either.
We'll make a packet!
Bizarre.
Shut the fuck up! Business is bizarre!
Hey, see this here. We've advertised in a porn mag.
Panties fresh from the pussies of celebrities like Rie Miyazawa and Kumiko Goto
with their most intimate body odors are on sale for a reasonable price.
Hey, are you gonna do it or not?
- Sure. Why not? - Good, then wear these panties.
Oh dear...
Shut the fuck up! Don't do that freaky voice!
THE KINSU SECT
No one here...
Nowadays young kids are useless, aren't they?
They can't even take telephone calls properly.
What do you want? It's the Kinsu sect.
These give me a strange sensation.
Listen.
Make sure you make them as dirty as possible.
But when you go for a piss, make sure you don't wet them!
Yes, sir!
Ah, my balls fell out...
What?
Celebrity fresh panties sales office?
What the fuck are you talking about? It's the Kinsu sect here!
Hello?
You want the panties off Rie Miyazawa? Fuck you, I want them too!
The reason why I asked you three to be here,
is to announce that you're officially members of our sect from today.
Listen, we used to reserve an exclusive restaurant to celebrate this kind of occasion,
but as you know, the cops are making it difficult to do business these days.
So I've decided to use this kind of family restaurant instead.
Order whatever you want, hamburger, a steak or a children's meal...whatever.
Thank you, sir!
Today you will be given your badges by the Boss. You're being honored.
- Yes, sir! - Yes, sir!
Hey, hey you kids. Hey, old bitches!
Those kids might be precious to their parents, but to us they're just dirty little kids.
How can they be proud of those dirty little fuckers?!
- You asshole, total asshole. - Asshole, total asshole...
But you're different. You're real family.
We're here to celebrate you becoming members of our family.
If you have any problems, come and talk to me. Right?
Yes, sir!
You're so fortunate that the Boss is paying so much attention to you.
These gold badges are made of pure gold.
They cost somewhere between 500,000 and 1 million yen!
Treat them well, alright?
Yes, sir!
OK, all sorted, so let's toast with banana shakes, shall we?
- We all ready? - Yes.
What?
Could I have a pint of beer please?
Chuck some water at him!
Idiot!
This is so strange.
I can't believe Rie Miyazawa's panties aren't selling.
We haven't received a single phone call.
Right! I'm gonna have to negotiate directly with agents.
SILK VARIETY SHOP Opening Times: Mon - Sat: 13:00 to 22:00 Sun & Bank Holidays: 13:00 to 17:00
What? Are you saying you're not going to buy these panties?
I don't want them.
What are you on? These are the panties of Rie Miyazawa.
- They come with stains and are genuine. - Show me the proof.
Proof?
Proof...but...
The proof that Rie was really wearing those panties.
Customers aren't stupid nowadays.
If they're genuine, I don't mind paying you 500,000 yen.
But you need to show me the proof.
Alright then, I'll let you have them for 1,000 yen.
Alright, 500 yen!
What! Look, they're real silk panties!
I could buy them for 200 yen.
- 200 yen! Are you crazy! - What are you looking at anyway?!
Mmmm, 200 yen is OK.
You mean 200 yen each, right?
And another 200 yen, right?
- Take your panties off. - What?
The ones you're wearing now!
Yes, sir!
I don't mind paying more for yours.
Well, shame that it didn't work, isn't it?
Silk panties for 200 yen...
...we've made quite a loss...
Hey, wait! Wait guys;
You've got the gold badges the Boss gave you, right?
Give them to me now.
- What are you gonna do with them? - Take them to the pawn shop.
That's how I'm gonna pay back the debts.
Debts?
Come on! I borrowed money to buy those panties and advertise in the magazine.
Yes, but are you sure nobody“ mind'?
Yeah, no problem! Any pawn shop will kill for Kinsu sect special badges.
No, no. I mean if someone finds out, aren't we gonna be in trouble?
Don't worry, we'll get some dough and buy them back.
Kinsu sect badges, is that right?
Yes, that's right.
All three together...
Yes, all three together...?
I would say 3,000 yen.
Just 3,000 yen?
It all depends on the sect, some badges are worth 50,000 to 100,000 yen.
But that's the best I can do for Kinsu sect badges.
I'm not being funny, but it's only gold plating.
Gold plating?
They aren't pure gold then...
It wasn't true then...
You know, I'm doing you a favor offering 3,000 yen for them.
Brother, don't even think about it.
No! 3,000 yen is fucking useless!
I understand.
Give me 3,000 yen please.
Brother?
That was a waste of time, wasn't it?
Our gold badges were just gold plated... that's pathetic.
We can't go around stony broke like this.
But we haven't got anything else for the pawn shop.
- Makoto! - Yes?
Can you drive a car?
Yes.
Excellent.
Go and steal a truck.
What?
I wonder what pills he takes...
This is the place.
What is it?
What a stench!
Wait...
Can't you see? They're pigs!
I know what they are!
We can take as many as we want.
But what are you going to...?
What? If you take one to the butcher, right...
Let's say they get 50 kilos of pork meat out of one pig and 100g is worth 120 yen.
Just on a rough calculation, think how much money we could make!
But how are you going to move them to the truck?
One big haul of pig!
Let's Paw!
Let's party! Let's have a toast! A toast!
- A toast! - Here we go!
- Sit down, sit down, sit down. - Ready!
- One more time! - Again, again, again!
Come on then!
Cheers!
Here we go!
Please...suck it!
It stinks!
Come on...come on... come on!
Stop it!
Sab, you're enjoying yourself, huh?
Yeah.
Can I join you, too?
No, no, no!
Stop it...Catherine... Catherine...
We're going to have some fun!
The night's just started!
Let's go to the next club.
Sabu...
If you're thinking you can run away from me, you're mistaken.
- Come on, hurry up. - Of course.
That's our next club.
What?
- Welcome. - Welcome.
- They have nice girls here. - Please come in, come in.
Welcome. Welcome.
Hi.
So you work here, then?
I've been working here for a week, but I'm still trying to get used to it.
Anyway, I've just finished my shift, so I have to go now.
Are you going now? Then I'll take you home.
- What? - As your bodyguard.
If bad guys hassle you, I can protect you, bang, bang, bang!
Thank you for your offer, but what will your friends think?
Ah...they're...his friends. Right?
- Yeah, that's right. - So I don't have to worry about them.
I'm not gonna pull any tricks or anything. I just wanna talk to you a bit, that's all.
Right, could you wait for me? I'll go and change.
- OK, I'll wait for you outside. - OK.
Good luck, huh? Enjoy yourself.
I'm not thinking of doing anything.
Whatever. Anyway, I'll let you have my spare one for tonight.
- What's that? - My rubber.
- I don't want it. - Don't you want it?
- I don't want it. - Come on, take it.
- I said I don't want it. I don't want it! - Why don't you go then?!
Welcome, I'm Akemi.
Would you please marry me?
No! No! No! No! No! No!
NO! No! No!
This is insane...
Good evening gentlemen, from Asashi sect. Thank you for choosing us.
- Is Akemi here? - I'll send her to your table.
What?
Akemi...
So, you're an actress.
Well, still a trainee.
But I have to pay for my drama course fees,
and make money for theater tickets, so I work as a hostess because it pays well.
You're obviously working hard at it.
Not just me, everyone's working hard so I have to work even harder.
I think your dream will come true, the way you're working at it.
Actually...
What?
Today...
...I went on an audition and got selected as the main character in a video.
That's fantastic!
Congratulations!
I should ask for your autograph now!
Thank you. You're the first person I've told.
Really? I'm $0 happy for you
I've been talking about myself so much and haven't asked anything about you.
It doesn't matter about me.
What do you do?
Job?
My lob is...
...I work for Takaranoyama Trading Ltd.
So you're a businessman?
I've just finished my probation period. I don't earn much yet.
But I heard that if you work for a trading company, you sometimes get to go abroad.
I guess so.
You're lucky you can travel abroad.
Anyway, I hope our dreams come true.
You only live once...
You're right.
You always smile and follow me.
You don't talk a lot and are very shy.
I'm sorry to give you such a hard time.
I want to make you happy as many times as you cry.
Let's drink together...
You can't call that singing. That was fucking shit!
What the fuck?
I'll show you how you should sing.
Listen carefully.
Boss...
When the song ends, take the fucking guy apart.
If Daimon starts the fight, even better. One punch will see him out of the action.
Testing...testing microphone.
Let's go.
Don't we have to listen to the Captain's song?
If you don't wanna die, do what I'm doing.
_ Come o n! Hur _Yes! W!
Not that! Do what I'm doing! Fast!
Please wait for a moment...
I feel great!
I've had a lot to drink!
I've enjoyed women!
Why doesn't your stiff dick make you money?
Huh?
Why doesn't your stiff dick make you money?
Porn actor wanted for adult video. Make money having sex with women.
Porn actor wanted...?
That's it!
The film starts shooting today, doesn't it?
Yes, thanks for calling.
OK, good luck.
Nice!
OK.
- I'm back! - Hey, your coffee's ready.
Yeah, cheers.
Going outside to make a telephone call... what's the big deal, huh?
- It's special today. - Huh?
- The first day of her film shoot. - Good morning.
- Good morning Brother! - Good morning Brother!
Hey, Makoto, why are you looking so happy today?
Well...
Makotds girlfriend is shooting her first video film today.
I see. Makoto, you're lucky to have such a nice girl.
Thank you, I know.
But she'd better be careful.
Sometimes they say it's a shoot for a video film, but it turns out to be a porn film.
No way, she said the production company's got a very good name for itself.
What's the name of the company?
I think it was called 7 Star Productions.
What?
Did you say 7 Star Productions?
Yes...
That's the production company Asashi sect uses as a front.
They do illegal porn videos.
Makoto! Hurry up and stop her before it's too late!
Makoto! Hurry up now!
Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Wait, I need to borrow it!
Here we go!
Wait! Wait!
Hey, when's the male actor coming? He's fucking late!
Sorry, he's got stomach problems. But the substitute should be here shortly.
Sorry for the wait. The substitute's here.
Good morning.
Get in here. Hurry.
This is the director.
Excuse me.
What are you? Some kind of weirdo! Have you got a big dick then?
Well, he's a big guy. Let's hope he's got a big one to go with it.
There's a reason for it. If my mom sees me, she'll go apeshit.
Anyway, looks aren't important for porn actors.
Huh?
Are you really saying I can sleep with her?
You love it, don't you? It depends on what kind of equipment you're packing.
I'm confident. Leave it to me.
Massive!
I'll do my best.
Wait for me! I'll rescue you!
- Are you all ready? - Yeah.
Ready? Camera. Camera!
5...4...3...2..1! Ready? Start!
For what we are about to receive...
Hey, listen up, this girl really doesn't want to fuck, does she?
Shut the fuck up and just do it!
What's that?
Makoto!
- I'm here to rescue you. - Who the fuck are you?!
What's going on?
You're punks from the Kinsu sect, right?
You won't leave this place in one piece!
Shut the fuck up! You assholes, setting that girl up!
Trying to be a hero, huh? We're here on Asashi sect business!
I won't let you mess with our business!
I'm gonna make you regret setting that girl up.
Get him!
Shoot it! Hurry! Shoofl
Are you alright, Eiji?
Die!
No!
Don't worry, you're safe now.
Isn't that the Captain?
What?!
That's the Captain!
Eiji, hurry up!
Let's go!
It was my fault.
I didn't know anything about it, I was just over the moon to get the part.
No, that's not true. You were set up.
I should've realized it couldn't be true, someone like me given a leading role.
Don't think like that.
Keiko, you can be a star performer.
You'll definitely get the chance.
You're a winner.
Don't cry.
If you cry, it means that you're a loser.
Thank you.
I like the Keiko who's always cheerful and positive.
L...told you a lie. I'm not a businessman.
I'm...I'm a...I'm a yakuza...
I don't care what you do, Makoto.
I like you.
I've liked you since the moment we met.
Hello. What? A telephone call from the Asashi sect?
Yes, I'll put him through now.
Hello, it's Amachi.
Oh, it's Hosoda of the Asashi sect.
Amachi...
...I haven't spoken to you for a long time.
What do you want?
I know you've got two young members called Makoto and Eiji.
They interfered in our business the other day,
and some of our young members were badly injured.
What?
You know you can't just get away with it, right?
What are you trying to do?
We want compensation for the damage and we want a gift by way of an apology.
And get one fingertip each from the kids and pack them in the same package.
Hey, What's going on?
Hey?
Wow, the sun's so yellow today.
Bye.
Let's both give it our best shot.
Yes, you only live once.
Tokyo Disneyland... gentlemen please behave...
He's back.
Makoto, this is fucking serious!
Go and see the Boss right now.
Good luck.
Obviously obeying their request,
and letting them chop their fingers off is the right thing according to yakuza protocol.
I agree with that.
But the Asashi sect is already asking for an absurd amount of compensation,
and they're not playing by the rules either.
I understand our trainee was only rescuing a girl he's close to and didn't hurt anyone.
I also understand those yakuza were all beaten up by the porn actor they hired.
They brought it on themselves.
I must say, whoever he was, he's got balls, fighting all those Asashi sect guys.
I wish we had someone like him in our sect, huh?
Yes.
We can't ask them to chop their fingers off under these ludicrous circumstances.
Boss.
We're very sorry.
What are we going to do?
If it ends up in a war between us and the Asashi sect, we'll be on the losing end.
Boss, would you please leave this to me?
What are you talking about?
Daimon, we're not going to attack them.
Even if we try negotiating with them, with you there, everything will end up in a mess.
Daimon...I'll leave this to you.
B...but Boss...
Narita, calm down.
The Boss has made up his mind. Just shut up.
Just wait and see.
Listen, I'm going to leave the operations of our sect to you. Do whatever you want.
I'll sort things out later. Don't worry, alright?
Thank you for coming.
Excuse me? How about one of these flowers?
Tight bastard!
Hey, Daimon!
What do you want?
These two are the ones who interfered in your business the other day.
So that was you two punks!
Have you brought your fingertips?
You're not understanding me.
Keep out of this! If you wanna negotiate, do it once the goods are in our hands.
I'm the delegate responsible for the negotiations.
What do you mean?
Let's come to an understanding right now!
Dynamite...!
You know, I don't like anything complicated.
My position is to light the dynamite and die together with you.
What? What? Have you gone mad?!
I'm dead serious.
This is going to sort it all out.
Boss! That's bullshit!
He's serious.
I'm deadly serious.
Let's come to an understanding. We don't want any compensation or fingers!
- Are you sure? - Yes, sure!
- Boss! - For fuck's sake!
You two! Why don't you say thank you to the Boss.
Thank you very much.
That's better, huh?
Captain!
I won't forget what you did for us for the rest of my life.
Shall we go home?
Yes!
Ah...Captain...
You mean this? It's fake dynamite. I told Kinoshita to make it.
He didn't go to university for nothing. It's good stuff.
I see...
Ah...l must've left the dynamite out like this...dangerous...
This is the fake dynamite I made...
Oh shit!
I gave him the real one!
It's real!
Kinoshita!
Thank you very much. Please come again.
- We certainly will. - Please do.
What?
It's too late for fireworks. Whoever he is, he must be celebrating something special.
OK, let's go.
Kaizo Daimon, Osaka's biggest yakuza, will not die easily!
Let's go!
What the fuck?!
Mr Daimon...!
Project Manager: Seishi Nishino Production: Hirohiko Suekichi
Producers: Tetsuya Yuki, Fujio Matsushima & Tamio Kanda
Screenplay: Tetsuo lnoue Line Producer: Shigeshi Maeda
Casting Producer: Hachiro Shdyi Sound Producer: Juzo Terada
Camera: Masanori Maruyama Lighting: Junzo Takemori
Design: Takaaki Yano Recording: Masaaki Sakai
Editing: Taishi Shimamura Sound Editor: Kenji Shimazaki
Screenplay Editor: Rie Matsu ku ma Assistant Director: Hideyuki Yamamoto
Production: Masashi Minami Director's Assistant: Takahiro Ohuchi
Camera Assistant: Akihiro Matsura Lighting Assistant: Yoshk: Tuneya
Recording Assistant: Shinsuke Nagashima Editor's Assistant: Kiyomi Watae
Costume: Takeshi Yamazaki Costume Assistant: Yoriyo Nagase
Design Assistant: Yumiko Hirata Fight Scene: Shigeru lnoue
Hair & Make-up: Kanako Nishimura Steal: Kumiko Wada
EED: Hideki Fujisaki Negative Editing: Sanyo Editorial Studio
Fight Scene Corporation: Mitsuhiko Seike Dialect Training: Potato Uno
Production Leader: Tetsuya Mukai Production Coordinator: Ryuji Yoshioka
Casting Assistant: Atsuko Takahashi Production Assistant: Makoto Toyota
Kentaro Nakakura Yoshimuki Ohmori
Sei Hiraizumu Tadashi Sato
Shigeaki Fujita Mika Takahashi
Nobuo Tunoda Kei Makino
Ryo Yamazaki Mijo Matsubara
Aki Kochi Kamigata Ryuji and Kazue
Koichi Kira Kuniaki Yuda
Gajiro Sato Hidemasa Yoshimoto
Yozo Tojima Kazunobu Terada
TsuyoshiNankai Hiroe Hayashi
Nami Oka Naomi Nakajima
Yoshiyuki Maeda lchioku Senji
Tomohiro Moflmoto Ava Tanaka
Kaofilchfio Riki Motoyama
Yuka Nakatani Kengo Oka
Junji M Haccaku
Shinsuke Ryuzo Fukumoto
Toshiharu Tahata Kento Nakamura
Yukiharu Okubo Seigo Takon
Shochiku Geino K. K Yamamoto Pro
Office Sect NAC Talent Centre
Speedway Promotions AD LID
Guest Appearances by: Taihei Yumeji & Hachiro Oka
Tetsuya Yuki Rikiya Yasuoka
End Song: Guns & Flowers Lyrics: Yuri Yoshii
Music: Juzo Terada Vocal: Yuri Yoshii
Okamen Corporation Akea Kogyo Ltd
Motoe Enterprise Ltd Osaka Kenko Club
Osaka University of Arts Todai Kensetsu Ltd
Variety Shop Silk Club You
Club Saki Club Down
Telephone Club Excel House Studio Anex
Desse Jenny Sakae Kodo
Primer Tennoji Branch Flash
Knack Toei Chemical Ltd
Kouei Shinsha Spot
Aoi Studio Agfa-Gevaert Japan
Tokyo Costume Team Freeway
Soundbox Mr Foo
Osaka Visual Communication College Hosho Geijyutsu College
Snack Sara Hotel the Live Artext
Osaka ANA Hotel Sheraton Toyota Rent a Car Shinosaka
With You Show Car Pro ONO
Production Corporation: HEISEI Production
Produced by Excellent Film
Directed by Takashi Miike